Love In The Dark
by Crazy4Moony
Summary: Marauders era, RS. Remus and Sirius are an item, but only at night, no one's allowed to know. But then people start finding out, and it's madness. Will they manage to be together without losing their friends? R&R please!
1. Chapter one: Night Sky & First Kisses

**Love in the dark**

**Night sky and First kisses.**

Remus _couldn't_ quite explain. He just loved the night. Well, not really the fact that it was _night_. I mean, night wasn't _always_ great. It was more the fact that it was _dark_. It is easy to love the dark when your best friend is right next to you. Or… well, not really _best friend_. More like… the guy you happen to be in love with. Or… secret crush. Or even better… secret _lover_.

To the world of day, they would be just friends, but the world of night knew better.

Remus was reading a book. The dorm was really quiet, and he knew it had to be late. He yawned, whispered: "nox." And put his book on the nightstand. He was about to close the curtains, when a tall figure came over and sat on the far end of his bed. Who else but Sirius Black, the _amazingly_ handsome animagus?

"You don't mind do you?" The latter asked.

"No," Remus said. He gave Sirius a little glance, and continued: "Is something wrong?"

"Does there _need_ to be something wrong for me to be here?" Sirius asked, sounding malicious and hurt at the same time. "If you want me to go you should just say so."

"No! It's okay!" Remus protested. "I didn't mean to make you feel unwelcome, I was just afraid that something was wrong, I'm sorry."

'That's Sirius. Always insisting on getting his knickers in a twist,' thought Remus, not _quite_ being able to suppress a sigh.

"I just didn't want to be alone tonight." Sirius said quietly.

It was raining outside, and the hot weather earlier proved that later that night, there'd be a thunderstorm. Sirius had _never_ been quite fond of the thunder. This was, _naturally_, a secret, and no one should know of it. Though of course James and Remus knew. But it didn't matter. It was a great excuse to be close to Remus. He felt _safe_ with Remus.

"So, you're sure?" He whispered.

"I'm sure." Said Remus.

Sirius lay down on his back. He put his arms under his head, and let out a sigh.

"This is great. You're so lucky, with your bed near the window." Sirius said.

Remus followed his gaze; he was looking at the moon, which would be full in a couple of days. Sirius might not be fond of the thunder, but he _loved_ the moon. He knew that it was dangerous. Making Remus go wild every once a month. Yet he thought it was beautiful. _Just like_ Moony, in a way. They both just turned ugly once a month. And there was nothing wrong with that. He'd never had any problems with what Remus really was. The only one that really seemed to mind, was Remus _himself_.

Remus looked at Sirius. He knew his friend very well. And knew exactly what he'd do next: he'd light a cigarette. And then he'd get that glint in his eyes that said: 'don't I look hot smoking?'

'Yes, you do.' Remus would imagine saying. Of course, he never said this aloud. Nobody should know he even _thought_ of saying such a ridiculous thing.

Yes, Sirius smoked, but not a lot. And if he'd ever want to stop, he could do so in a heartbeat, but he liked it. He liked it because he wasn't _supposed_ to like it. There was something about Sirius and wrong things. He _loved_ them. That was just his little rebellion side, sticking out. But smoking was most definitely the most peculiar rebellion-esque thing he possessed. There was something about Sirius and cigarettes. And the _secrecy_ about them. He never smoked around girls or Wormtail: he only smoked when he was with James and Remus. It was weird but that was the way it was. Remus didn't like the idea of Sirius smoking. It could kill him. Though, with those magic cigarettes, the chance of them giving you lung cancer, _was_ smaller, so that made him worry a bit less.

Sirius himself, was a different man when he smoked. He kept more secrets, and you'd never notice that he kept them. But only when he was smoking. He was… _harder_ when he smoked. And, I suppose, part of Remus liked that.

"Can I smoke." It wasn't as much as a question as Sirius just being polite. He _knew _Remus would let him anyway. But it was just nicer to ask first.

"Sure, I'll close the curtains."

Sirius smiled and Remus shut the moonlight out, so it was pitch black. A bit later a little orange-light dot appeared, coming from Sirius' cigarette. It was a weird thing: Sirius and cigarettes, the way he acted about them. You'd say they're _holy_, but they weren't. More like a bad habit, one that Sirius loved to have.

"Thanks." He whispered.

Remus could feel his ear burning up. Sirius was _right_ next to him, blowing smoke into his ear. Remus hadn't known Sirius was so close.

"_Don't_," Remus said in a small voice, and he turned to Sirius. "It's hot."

He didn't need light to know that Sirius was grinning.

"I bet it is," He said. "I wonder how it would feel to kiss someone with smoke in your mouth."

Remus blinked. Where did that come from? What was this? Some sleazy novel? Confessions in the dark? With only an orange-y dot to light the spirits? Remus' mind was wandering off to _sleazy novels_ and _confessions in the dark_. Strange, usually it was Sirius' mind that wandered. Then Remus said, sounding serious: "I bet it'd be even hotter."

Sirius laughed his doggish laugh. It made Remus' ears sing. And all the hairs on his back rise.

"Yah, I'm sure it would be." Sirius whispered hoarsely.

And again, he was surprisingly close. Remus could feel his body moving beside his own. He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. His eyes watched the orange dot, and the smoke emerging from it. Every now and then he'd see smoke coming from Sirius' mouth, and he'd watch it, until it disappeared. Then he'd watch Sirius again, who was just _staring_ in the distance. Remus could see the glitter in his eyes that he would otherwise describe as _boyish_. But not now. Now it was something _stronger_.

"What is it, with you and cigarettes?"

Sirius looked at Remus.

"Can't tell you Moony," he came closer and whispered: "it's a secret."

Then he lay flat on his back, one arm tucked under his head. The other just moved about, with the orange dot to mark where his arm was going. Soon, Remus lay down too, with his arms tucked underneath him. He followed blue smoke, and stared at the orange dot. It took a while for Sirius to come closer, but when he did, Remus was glad he did. Maybe it was just something between _friends_, but with Sirius he felt safe. Even though Sirius coming closer also meant the orange dot coming closer. The dot dangerously _flew_ over Remus' bed, as they whispered to each other. Told stories and shared secrets. It had been silent for a while, when the dot disappeared: _goodbye_ cigarette.

Sirius turned his face, exhaling the last bit of smoke, and whispered in Remus' ear: "you're sure you don't mind?"

It tickled a little, and Remus could _swear_ that Sirius' lips were nearly touching his earlobe. It gave him goose bumps.

"_Stop_ asking, I don't mind."

Remus looked into Sirius' eyes. He really loved them. You know, those _beautiful_ grey ones. Those he'd seen _every day_, but never _quite_ as good as he saw them now. He had never been so close to Sirius. Their noses were nearly touching. And those eyes looked different now. More cerulean.

"Can I do something?" Sirius asked silently.

"What?" Remus asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Sirius _always_ managed to surprise him. He wondered what he was up to. Probably something stupid and dangerous, and something that would get them into trouble. You know, something _Sirius_-like.

"You trust me?" Sirius asked.

"_I don't_." Remus said, and laughed.

"Oh. That's okay." Sirius responded airy.

He shifted his arm a bit, placed it around Remus' waist and pulled him closer. Remus was a bit shocked by this, since their hips and stomachs were touching. More sleazy-novel-ness, as he thought about how _perfect_ their body's seemed to fit together. As if they were _made_ for each other. And he was sure now. They had never been _this_ close. Not that he minded. It felt like they were _supposed to be_. He could feel the heath radiating from Sirius' body. It was sort of scary. Not _bad_ scary. Just scary. Remus had never been this intimate with people before. God, he had never even _kissed_ a girl! Of course, for Sirius who was some sort of super-seducer, this was a piece of cake. He had been pressed against girls about a bizzilion times before. But with Remus it was _different_. More… _real_. Then, when seconds that seemed like _hours_ had passed, Sirius kissed him. Not a friend's kiss, those are _no_ big deal. Those were pecks used for teasing. This one was... just… not _friends_-like. There was still the taste of cigarettes in Sirius mouth, but also of rum and lemon. Sirius liked rum. It was part of the _rebellion_-ness. Cygnus detested liquor, and rum was high on her list of banned items from Grimmauld-place. Sirius, being Sirius, Marauder and top Mischief-maker, always managed to get rum into the house though. And if his dad ever found out, he traded rum for the sake of the hiding place. Sirius' dad liked rum _too_.

The lemon taste was due to the tea they had over dinner. Sirius had stole Remus' cup of lemon-tea, which was his favourite, and had gulped it down.

Lemon and rum. A weird combination, but it matched him, in a way.

After the first shock was gone, after Sirius had pulled away, gently biting his bottom lip, Remus swallowed hard and looked at Sirius in amazement.

"_Wow_." He mumbled, releasing a breath.

Sirius started blushing, for what was _surely_ the first time in his life.

"That was… _amazing_." Remus said.

His eyes were still wide. Sirius smiled and let out a happy sigh.

"It was okay?" He asked.

He had changed again. The man, that was made by cigarettes, had turned into the boy again. Remus didn't mind. He loved both, to be honest.

"Sure." Remus answered.

He whipped the hair out of Sirius' face. This would do, for now.


	2. Chapter two: Touches,Jealousy&FindingOut

**Touches, Jealousy and Finding out**

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were sitting in a corner, doing homework. It was the fifth day of their _last_ year, and _months_ after Sirius and Remus their first kiss. Since that kiss, Sirius had visited Remus' bed every night. They'd talk, about nothing special. And _of course_, they'd kiss. If you're secretly dating the hottest guy in Hogwarts, you _have_ to benefit from that! It's probably a _crime_, not-kissing Sirius Black when you're dating him!

Sirius had been very lonely over summer vacation. Alone with his rum. Even though he had stayed over at James' house a lot. It was still different. James had a _huge_ four-poster at home, which they shared. They'd stay up all night and talk about _pranks_, and _Lilly_, and _birds_ Sirius liked. James _did_ notice a change in his best friend's behaviour towards girls. He didn't talk about them that much, and as far as James knew, he wasn't seeing anyone at the time. He'd joke about it, but Sirius would ignore the comments. Apparently, Sirius' days as _the greatest man-whore Hogwarts had ever known_, were over. The two of them had fun, and still, Sirius missed Remus. There had been a couple of sleepovers, but it was impossible to get Remus alone on times like that. Sleepovers involved: four Marauders, _lots_ of butterbeer, _candy_, _drinking games_, _crazy _dares and _running away with each others clothes _as they went skinny-dipping in the nearby lake. So that left Sirius with only _slim to none_ snogging activities over the summer. To cheer James and, if he was honest, himself up, he picked up an occasional muggle bird for the familiar one-night stands. So maybe he was _a bit_ of a man-whore. He didn't care. He'd do _anything_ to forget how lonely he felt without _his_ Moony.

It had been a tense first day, as he and Remus sat through Prongs' ranting. Peter listened with wide eyes as James described how he and Sirius'd been wondering through town when this beautiful woman walked up to them.

"_Of course_!" So James exclaimed. "She wanted _Sirius_!" And more of that foolish ranting. Sirius got a mysterious glint in his eyes that Remus detected as shame. James couldn't describe it, and Peter figured it was pride. That night he and Remus had a tiff in the dark, and made up _at last_.

But now, on the fifth day, they were doing homework, and it just wouldn't work. It didn't matter how hard Remus tried to explain, Sirius just didn't get it, and he was getting a little nervous.

"God, I'll _never_ get this!" He sighed.

He felt like giving up, and put his quill down.

"You'll do just fine." Said Remus.

"No I won't! I'm just too damn stupid." Sirius said frustrated.

James looked at his best friends. Remus' eyes were beyond comforting, and Sirius' frustrating drained as he looked at Remus.

"Come on," James said. "Wormtail is having trouble too."

"Yah, is that supposed to cheer me up?" Sirius snapped at James.

He sighed and whished Sirius would be nice to him too. There was something about Remus that made him be nice, right? Maybe he should be Remus-like for a day or two? Wear his clothes and all. That _could_ help. James pushed disturbing thoughts of him and Remus' underwear out of his head, and looked at his friends. Remus was whispering comforting words, and his fingers were gliding over Sirius' knuckles. Peter didn't notice any of it, and tried to read James' paper, that was upside down.

"I'll _help_ you." Said Remus, smiling.

"Thanks." Sirius mumbled, cherishing Remus' touch.

Remus started explaining things all over again, while Peter just copied James' text. Sirius never was into the whole 'copying', he wanted to get the things he was writing down, and not just copy them like a headless chicken. James watched them closely, as Remus pointed out stuff, explained positions of the stars, and showed figures on the chart. But all did _not_ go well, Sirius just was about to yell again when Remus bended over, pretending to show him something, and _stroked_ Sirius' leg under the table. Sirius thought he had _imagined_ it.

"_Relax_, you'll get it… sooner or later."

Sirius wanted to yell something like: 'and that's supposed to comfort me?' When he _felt_ it again, that _stroke_. The one he thought he imagined before. But no, it was really there. James didn't notice. He could see Sirius swallowing, and Remus pointing something out. He knew _something_ was going on, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. Poor James. His brain was working overtime as Sirius lightened up and smiled broadly. Remus, noticing James' confusion, but knowing he _didn't_ get it, didn't stop. He left little tingling marks on Sirius' thigh, giving it little pinches. Just the touch of one finger made Sirius all _warm_ inside. In the end Sirius was afraid to talk, scared his voice would sound husky. But it paid off: Sirius got it. James stared at his two best friends, who were sitting _pretty_ close. He had noticed the change in Sirius. And in Remus. Something was going on. But that didn't matter then. Sirius' happiness did. They celebrated the drastic change in Sirius' behaviour by planning a prank on Snivellus. And Sirius didn't need to feel like a headless chicken. And Remus had made him all_ hot_ inside. _Just_ by touching. Hoerah.

"Hi." Someone said.

Remus looked up. It was rather dark, because there was no moon. But he could still make out Sirius sitting on the end of his bed.

"Hey." Remus smiled.

He put '_the picture of Dorian Grey_' on the nightstand, and closed the curtains. Sirius crawled over to Remus.

"I need a kiss." He pouted.

Even though Remus couldn't see his face, he could feel Sirius was looking at him with _pleading_ eyes.

"What for?" Remus asked, not even thinking about not giving him the kiss he wanted.

"Moony, since when do I need a reason?" He whined. "But fine, if you want one: because maybe I wouldn't be so dumb if you kissed me more, giving some of your wisdom to me," he said happily, and then continued: "now, where is it?"

Remus laughed, pulled him closer and kissed him. Sirius grinned wickedly.

"So, you think it worked?" He asked.

"Let's see… one and one?" Remus started grinning too.

"Eum…" Sirius pretended to be thinking hard.

Remus could nearly see him. Probably looking up with a serious look. He _always_ looked up when he was thinking. Mostly touching his chin with one finger.

"Three?" Sirius questioned.

"Yep, that's correct." Remus grin grew wider.

"Hey!" Sirius said. "That's not fair! Give me that wisdom!"

Sirius stole a kiss from Remus. (AN: I like the whole 'stealing kisses. It sounds so much more real.)

"Oh, you poor thing. So?" Remus asked again.

"Nope, one and one still make three."

Another kiss.

Sirius came to sit on Remus' lap and held Remus' legs in check with his own. He snuggled close to Remus and lay his head in the crock of Remus' neck.

"I saw Macie today," Sirius said. "How you don't get the fact that she's in to you is a mystery."

There was a hard undertone in his voice. _Jealousy_ perhaps? Remus glanced at him. His eyes had adjusted to the dark, and he could make out Sirius form, and his cheeks, that were a bit flushed.

"You're imagining things." Remus said matter-of-_factly_.

"No, I am not." Sirius lifted his head.

They looked each other in the eye. Remus was slightly surprised by the sudden change in Sirius' behaviour. Sirius was just sure he was right.

"I'm sure she's this close," he pressed his thumb and index finger together. "To jumping you!"

"Well, I'm sure you'll be there to pull her off then." Remus sneered.

He rarely every sneered. Sneering wasn't his thing. But whatever.

"This isn't funny Moony." Sirius pouted.

"I know! I'm just hurt by the fact that you actually think that I'd let her jump me! And that you go around screwing every girl possible, and now you're gonna be all jealous and stuff." Remus almost jelled, but it came out as an angry hiss.

"It's easier that way," Sirius snapped. This wasn't going right. "At least I can forget that I'm just your dirty, smoking, kissing _toy_!"

"But…" Remus stammered, even more surprised, if possible. "You're not!"

Sirius turned away.

"Sirri, you're not!"

Remus turned Sirius' head so he could look him in the eyes again. They where a _sad_ sort of grey.

"Then why this?" Sirius asked.

His hands waved around the four-poster, to image his point.

"Because we agreed it would be simpler, until we can tell James." Remus said, and Sirius looked at him with big, grey, puppy eyes.

"O, come here." Remus pulled him closer.

They lay down, and Remus held Sirius close.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said eventually. He looked up at Remus' face. "I mean… you're right.. of course you are. You're always right… I… damn, I just hate Macie!" He stated.

He really didn't like Macie. She was ugly and dirty and… _bleh_. Remus grinned.

"Yah, me too. So if she jumps me, you'll protect me, right?"

"Hmmm," Sirius was happy again. "_Maybe_."

A kiss.

"_Maybe_?" Remus asked.

Sirius just smiled and started unbuttoning Remus' nightshirt.

"_Maybe_." He whispered hoarsely.

Sirius woke up next to Remus. As _always_, he was the first one up. Usually, he'd sneak back to his own bed, but this time, something stopped him. He could hear someone moving. Someone was already up. It was quiet for a second. Then James opened the curtains with one quick move, and pointed a guilty finger at Sirius.

"_Aha_." He said loud and accusingly.

Sirius' eyes widened and he bit his bottom lip. What was he suppose to do now? The first thing he did was pull up the blanket, so James wouldn't notice he was completely naked and that Remus' legs were embracing Sirius' waist. Now what?

"Eum…" He stated.

If James _wouldn't_ have known something was going on, he would've known by the 'eum'. Remus moved his head so it now rested on Sirius' chest.

"You should've _told_ me." James whispered, making Remus move again.

"I…" Sirius didn't know what to say.

Of course they _should've_ told James, but they didn't, and now Sirius was feeling guilty. And nervous. So he slid his fingers through Remus' hair. He liked to do that when he was nervous. That calmed him. Remus was waking up now, he didn't know that James was there, and he pressed a kiss on Sirius' chest.

"This is odd," he whispered, his voice sleep-clouded, his eyes half-opened. "You're usually gone by the time I get up."

Sirius kissed Remus' forehead, and James coughed. Remus looked up, surprised, and now _clearly_ saw James, who was sitting at the end of Remus' bed.

Remus had always been the logical one, so he simply said: "Peter can't know." The sleep had completely vanished from his voice.

"You could've told me." James said again.

He closed the curtains.

"But…" Sirius began.

"It's okay," James said, making himself comfortable. "I woke up yesterday morning, thinking we could talk about a prank involving Snivellus, but Sirius' bed was empty. When I thought I'd ask Remus, you were both in his bed… almost completely naked," Remus got red, and Sirius smiled. "And you were all loves and daisies yesterday," he rolled his eyes. "So it wasn't hard to figure out."

"Thanks mate, knew you'd understand."

Sirius got up to hug James, while he was trying to hide the fact that he wasn't wearing anything at all this time._ Unfortunately _that didn't go so well, and it evolved into exposed nakedness, James laughing his _arse_ off and Remus shaking his head. When it was Remus' time to receive a hug, James got up, so that it wouldn't end in _an other_ friend being completely exposed and ashamed.

"What do we do now?" James asked.

"You can stay." Remus said.

"Yah, the bed is big enough for the tree of us." Sirius moved closer to Remus, if that was possible.

James crawled in next to him. He fell asleep after only five minutes: it was five AM and Saturday, he normally slept till nine or ten. Sirius and Remus had put on some PJ's and Sirius was looking at Remus, who couldn't sleep, because, _although _his eyes were closed, he knew Sirius was watching him. Sirius thought about their present state. They had been together for quite a while now, but they hadn't slept together. (Well they did, just without the sex.) The 'no-sex' thing wasn't at all a problem. It could _wait_. They'd _get_ there. But Sirius just hoped Remus wouldn't think he was a miserable man for being _nervous_ when they'd reached that moment. Sirius didn't for one moment think that Remus was nervous, though it'd be Remus' first time, while Sirius had had plenty of girls. Well, Sirius was never known for being _logical_. He played with the idea of him and Remus and more nakedness (thought there was no such thing as being more naked then they had been minutes ago) and making love, and what it would _be_ like. He was sure it'd be different then with girls. Probably because Remus made him feel _more_ then any of the girls did. Remus gave him the cheep-novel-butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling. The Huffelpuff-I'm-so-happy-grin occurred to Sirius when he thought of Remus. He realised, for the first time, that he was actually _in_ love. He had fallen _in_ love. Being a perfect pure-blood meant not growing up with fairytales. Being a Black meant not growing up in a loveable environment. When Remus talked about novels he read and people falling in love, Sirius could never understand. How could you fall _in_ love. And what did it feel like? Was it like falling into a pool of mud? Sticky and icky all over? Did falling in love require showers afterwards? But now he got it. It wasn't sleazy, but pure. And honest. And just like love should be.

"What're you thinking of?" Remus whispered.

Sirius awoke from his thoughts and looked at him. His eyes were still closed.

"Nothing really," Sirius answered. "Just happy James is still pro us."

Remus smiled, but he still didn't open his eyes.

"I'm not really surprised though," Sirius continued. He shifted a bit, so Remus would hear him, even though he was whispering. "I mean… Peter's gonna be shocked, and he'll be a dick an all… but James…" Sirius sighed.

"Yah, you're right." Remus said.

He pulled his legs up, making himself ready to fall asleep again.

"I honestly don't like Peter all the time, though… well he has his moments." Whispered Sirius.

He shifted without Remus noticing.

"We all have our moments Sirius, and Peter's our friend. We can trust him, and we have fun together, that's most important, right?"

"Sure." Remus was slightly surprised about how close Sirius was.

Then he felt rough, yet soft lips on his forehead, and after that Sirius put his head against Remus' chest.


	3. Chapter three: Friends equal Fuckers?

**Friends equal Fuckers?**

When Remus woke up he thought Sirius and James were already gone, but then he noticed the raven hair sticking out from under the blankets. He could also mark Sirius' sleeping form. He smiled, got up, got dressed and left them. He had just started with finishing his homework when Peter came down, yawning.

"You _do_ know Sirius and James are in your bed, right?" He asked.

"Yep."

"Aha… right…"

Peter sat down in front of Remus.

"Eumm… why?" He asked.

Remus smiled. It bought him time to find an excuse… erm… thunder maybe?

"Well… you know that they're always brave and stuff," he started. "I'll let you in on a secret: they're both afraid of the thunder."

It was a lame excuse, _honestly_. True, but lame. And Peter bought it.

"O! I never knew that!"

"Yah, but it's a secret, so don't tell anyone."

"Of course I won't tell anyone! I can keep a secret!" He sounded defensive.

"Thanks." Said Remus and gave Peter a pat on his shoulder.

So if Sirius would ever find out about Remus telling his secret, he'd be pissed. But what else could he say? 'Oh yah, me and Sirius have hot, almost-sex every night and James was willing to join in'? No. _Definitely_ not. Remus frowned thinking about his rather disturbing thoughts. James. Naked. Involving in hot-almost sex with him and Sirius. That was _definitely_ bleh-like. At that point Sirius came down, yawning.

"Hey Peter," Sirius cheered. "Hey Swee… Remus."

His face went bright red and his eyes _widened_ in shock. Peter didn't notice, he just mumbled a soft 'hey' and seemed to be disoriented. He seemed to be thinking about something important. Sirius sat down next to Remus, and lay his feet in Remus' lap. Remus decided to tease him.

"Were you about to call me _Sweety_?" He whispered and Sirius went red again.

"Don't flatter yourself… Sweety."

Remus grinned. After that it didn't take James long to make his way down.

"Hey." He said.

Peter looked up, and Sirius yelled: "thank God, he found his way home!" He was talking about Peter _of course_. Peter looked all puzzled and James thought Sirius was meaning him, so he said: "don't be so hard on me, I need my sleep."

"Don't worry, just an inside joke." Sirius winked.

Remus laughed, he understood what Sirius had been talking about. James walked to an armchair and swung his legs over the back of it, so he was upside-down. He was wearing a red jumper and his black pyjama trousers. Yet Remus decided not to look at him. The thoughts about James and a threesome were _still_ rather disturbing.

"So… eumm… breakfast?" Peter asked.

"I'm not really hungry." James said, his head was getting a bit red, from all the blood streaming down.

Sirius got up and started attacking James with teasing pokes in his side. James _totally _freaked, but Sirius grinned and said: "Me neither."

Remus sighed, and put his hand on Peter's shoulder.

"I'll come, I'm starving." He said.

Sirius looked up at Remus suspiciously, but Remus didn't seem to notice.

What Remus _did_ notice, was that Peter was really absent during breakfast.

"Is something wrong?" Remus asked.

"Moony… I didn't hear the thunder." Peter said.

He almost sounded ashamed. He poked a piece of bacon with his fork. Remus took a piece of his scrambled eggs, chewed carefully, swallowed and then said: "you were dead asleep Peter, Sirius and James were still talking when it started."

"O." Peter turned away from Remus.

"Peter… you don't believe me, right?"

Peter took a piece of bread. Remus was a bit worried. He wouldn't make this a big deal, would he? He'd hate to see Peter unhappy just because they bunked at Remus' bed _once_.

"I just think… well, if you're having some kind of sleepover, you don't need to be ashamed for not asking me."

Remus looked at him, he _couldn't_ be serious.

"It wasn't a sleepover, it was _thunder_!"

Peter just put some butter on his bread, and said nothing at all.

"It was thunder Peter. And if there was a sleepover, we'd definitely ask you!"

Remus gave Peter a friendly pat on his knee, and Peter smiled sheepishly. Remus hugged him. Unfortunately, at that _same time_ James and Sirius entered the great hall. Sirius stared at Peter and Remus, looked in Remus' eyes with disgust and disbelieve, turned around and ran away.

He'd _always_ been quite the jealous one. But he just couldn't believe Remus! They _never_ hugged. Even James and Sirius didn't hug. Well… only on _special_ occasions!

"O, fuck!" Remus released Peter immediately.

Peter was puzzled by this drastic change, and fell to the floor. Remus jumped to his feet and followed Sirius, yelling: "Sirius it was nothing!"

Peter got up, sitting down again, and James just sighed.

"What the hell was that?" Asked Peter.

James didn't answer and sat down next to him, while Remus was trying to find Sirius.

"Padfoot! Where are you!"

He had been running around for a while, using all kinds of shortcuts. Moving paintings, touching statues. That kind of thing. Then he heard soft sobs and muffled mutters coming from one of the secret hallways. Remus moved a piece of wall that was a door and entered a dark, long hall. There was a little spot of light coming from Sirius' wand, which lay next to him. Sirius himself was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, sobbing silently and muttering incoherently. Remus knelt down in front of him, but Sirius didn't look up.

"Go away," he said. "I don't want you to be here."

He didn't need to look up to know it was Remus. He could just feel it. His heart always started beating faster with Remus near. Even if he didn't know he was there. It was this sort of '_Remus_-detector'. Very handy when you're lost in the dark.

"It was nothing." Remus protested.

He was sitting a bit uncomfortable, but whatever.

"Leave me Remus!"

Remus lay his hands on Sirius' knees.

"He was sad, and he's our friend, he'd do the same for us!"

"Yah, sure, but that's not it, right? Would you've hugged him if you knew I was watching?" Sirius looked up, he looked angry.

"But… that doesn't matter… I knew you'd be mad!"

Sirius was right, in a way. But honestly… Remus _wouldn't've_ hugged Peter, because he _knew_ Sirius' reaction would be bad. Jealousy and angriness and all.

"Exactly," Sirius yelled. "You thought I wouldn't understand!"

"But… you don't." Remus looked rather confused.

"I do, I just hate it that you thought I wouldn't and…"

Remus cut him off.

"Padfoot… this is too complicated. I'm sorry. I should've know that you'd understand."

He had always figured that agreeing with Sirius was the _most_ logical thing to do. Otherwise they could stay there for a very long time, arguing. He didn't want that. Arguing was no fun, not about things like that. He sat next to Sirius and hugged him tight, but Sirius didn't hug him back. Remus released him and looked into his face.

"Sirius… please… I'm sorry… I… I love you." He whispered.

Sirius looked at him wide-eyed.

"You… love me?" He choked out.

"Of course I do." Remus smiled at him.

Sirius looked funny, and as always: _very_ handsome.

"You know… I kind of love you too."

Sirius got red and looked away. It was hard for him to show affection, which wasn't strange. Try growing up in his family. See how love will come on you.

Remus took Sirius' chin, and kissed him, without getting any protests, which was great, since the really _suck-y_ hug they had shared earlier. Well it would've been great, if it hadn't been for…

"_Now_ I see what Sirius was doing in your bed!" Came an angry voice. "But what James was doing there… do I even wanna know?"

Peter was standing by the door. Remus couldn't help thinking about his disturbing thoughts of threesomes. So Peter was thinking the same thing. That was _rather_ icky and odd. Peter said nothing more, and just stood there. Only seconds later James arrived.

"I'm sorry," he said. "He was gone before I noticed."

"So… you're like… gay?" Peter asked, with a frown.

He and James came closer. Sirius and Remus nodded.

'God, this was stupid,' thought Remus. 'Let's not go through this,' he thought.

"Well… I didn't see this coming." Peter said maliciously. "I mean, Sirius Black, the guy that had all the girls in school, gay! Ha!"

Sirius' mouth opened in protest and anger.

"Don't be such a dick." Remus stated dryly.

"Yah, and then you! I thought you had it all figured out with Macie, but…" Peter was interrupted by a fist _crushing_ into his jaw.

Sirius had already been furious, with the whole insulting part, but 'Macie' send him over the top. He _really_ didn't like her.

"Shut up, you bastard!" Sirius yelled, pushing Peter to the floor.

"Sirius…" Remus said warningly.

He didn't have _any_ intentions getting Sirius off though. A few punches served Peter right. The bastard.

"Come on." James pulled Sirius off Peter, so he could get up himself.

He felt his jaw. It was purple and very fat. His nose was bleeding and he had a black eye. Pff. Things Sirius could do in only a couple of seconds! You'd be _amazed_!

Peter's anger toward Sirius and Remus faded. Now he only felt sorry. And afraid. He hadn't meant to fight with his friends. It was just shock… and… well shock!

"I'm sorry Sirius…" He started. "I didn't mean to…"

"Yah," Sirius spat, straightening his robes. "You never mean to."

James looked at Peter, then took Sirius by the hand, and guided him out of the hall. Remus got up slowly. Peter looked a bit bedazzled, and was poking his cheek.

"I'd put ice on that." Said Remus.

Anger could be heard in his voice. There was not even the slightest bit of compassion in what he had just said. Frankly, he _couldn't give a shit_ about what happened to Peter next. Being nice was just his thing.

"Remus I…" began Peter.

Remus interrupted: "sometimes I just don't get you Peter."

Then he followed Sirius and James.

"You alright?"

Sirius was sitting in an armchair. He still looked ill-tempered. James was sitting on the red rug and smiled a bit. Remus was about to join him when Sirius pulled him on his lap.

"I'm fine." He said, and kissed Remus.

"I'm a little shocked to be honest!" Said James. "Never knew Peter could be such a _jerk_! Thought he didn't have the nerve for it, guess I was wrong."

Remus smiled.

"You're not known for your wits James," he winked, and Sirius grinned. "Just stick with being madly in love with Lilly."

They didn't see Peter all day, and at diner he sat alone at the end of the table. James and Sirius were whispering quietly when Lily came to sit next to Remus.

"What's wrong with Peter?" She asked.

"He's a fucking jerk! That's what's wrong!" Sirius jelled.

A couple of first years jumped.

"Okay, that explains a lot." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Doesn't matter, Sirius' right." Remus said.

"O!" Lily looked at Remus with big eyes. "Never thought you'd say that about a friend!"

Remus lifted his shoulder, and ate some potatoes.

"Puh." Sirius just said.

He and James continued talking. Lilly didn't ask about Peter any more, and she started a conversation with Remus about potions.


	4. Chapter four: Hating and First times

**Hating and ****First times**

"He's a fucking bastard." Sirius said, crawling into Remus' bed.

It had been a long day. And it was late. Yet he hadn't changed. He was still in his jeans, and had just started putting on his nightshirt. James was snoring loudly. Peter's heavy breathing filled the short pauses between James' snores. Frank's bed cracked as he moved a bit. All else was still.

"Yes he is." Remus agreed.

Sirius was only wearing his pyjama bottoms. Even though it was winter. He was _really_ hot. He inwardly cursed James for taking so long to fall asleep. But when he heard the heavy snores, they still made him smile. Prongs was really _amazing_!

"Puh and stuff." Sirius sighed.

"He's just going to…" Remus began, but Sirius interrupted him.

"I don't care what happens to him," he was starting to close the curtains. As he did, he glanced at Peter's bed for a second. Then he turned to Remus again. "We're supposed to be _friends_! But nooo! He needs to be an arrogant fuck! The fucking fuck!" Sirius' head was getting red. He had never really _like_ liked Peter, but now he had gone to far. "Fuck that fucking fuck of a fucking Peter!"

"_Relax_, just relax," Remus whispered, afraid that Sirius might wake up someone. "Just relax Sirius."

"Yah, but… o fuck! I just _fucking_ hate him! The fuck!"

"Padfoot, relax, come here," Remus put his hand on Sirius' arm and carefully pulled him closer.

Sirius lay close to Remus, with his head on the same pillow Remus' was, and his arm around Remus' waist.

"Hey." Remus whispered and stared into Sirius' eyes.

"Did I already say hi?" Sirius asked.

"Nope," Remus smiled a little smile. "You were to busy saying _fuck_."

"Sorry." Sirius apologetically kissed Remus.

Remus knew something was wrong, he could feel it in his kiss. Something was really wrong. He didn't know what was, though.

"Can I smoke?" Sirius asked, and magiced up an ashtray.

"What if I say no?" Remus said.

He was going to get to the bottom of this, even if he had to be sort of mean to get there. Well, _mean_. Not really. But whatever.

"I'd smoke anyway," Sirius grinned. "And now Remus, you wouldn't say no to me. You can't resist me."

There was something taunting in his voice, the way he kissed Remus again was too forcing. And he lighted a cigarette, of course he did. Remus felt slightly intimidated by the little red dot, and actually felt as if he had been _replaced_, by a cigarette. They said nothing for a while. Sirius stayed where he was, and Remus wanted to move. His eyes followed the dot, and he felt as if he was in danger… and _neglected_. So he moved. Well, he _tried_ to, but as he was moving, Sirius' hand took Remus' arm, and forced Remus' body against his own.

"_What_ do you think you're doing?" Sirius hissed.

His eyes narrowed, as if Remus had tried to do something illegal.

"Moving Sirius, please release my arm." Remus looked at Sirius.

"No."

"Why the hell not?" Remus asked.

"'Cause I don't feel like it."

Sirius pulled Remus on top of himself, and held his arm firmly around Remus' waist, so Remus couldn't move. He breathed hot breath in Remus' face, and Remus coughed.

"_Don't_."

Sirius didn't listen, he inhaled, and when Remus was about to say something, Sirius kissed him. Remus felt as if his mouth was on fire, second-hand poison burning his throat. His eyes watered and he tried to push himself away from Sirius. Sirius forced his tongue in Remus' mouth, and before Remus really knew what was going on, he was actually enjoying it. Not like… having fun or anything. But Sirius was right. Remus just _couldn't_ resist. Sirius turned, still making sure that Remus couldn't move, and landed on top.

"I knew you'd like it." He grinned.

"Oh please. It was foul," he protested. It had indeed been. But Remus couldn't deny that it was… exciting and very hot. "And you taste foul too by the way." Remus said, trying to move, but he couldn't.

Sirius inhaled again, and kissed Remus once more, this time it didn't went so smooth: Remus started coughing like mad, and all Sirius could do was smirk.

"Bastard." Remus rubbed the tears out of his eyes.

"Hmm… maybe. But now we both taste foul." Another kiss, and thank God, no smoke this time.

Remus didn't like it. There was something forcing behind it. Something not-Sirius-ish. Something that wasn't like Sirius, even when he was the hard, smoking man. Something so completely wrong.

"Asshole." Remus puffed.

"Why?" Sirius asked.

He sat up a little, dangling the cigarette seductively between his lips, and unbuttoned the buttons of Remus' nightshirt.

"I don't know." Remus looked at Sirius' face.

His eyes were sparkling, and reflected the weather outside, where it was storming. That was Remus' favourite sort of grey, the stormy kind, 'cause every time Sirius' eyes turned stormy, he was up to something. Sirius grinned, and took the cigarette from his lips. He exhaled, and put it back. God, Remus was getting sick of it. Before Sirius could inhale, Remus took it, and put it out in the ashtray.

"What the…" Sirius was interrupted by Remus' lips meeting his.

"Hmm…" Sirius let out a little moan, and pulled away.

He let a finger glide over Remus' stomach, sighed, and did something he'd done about a million times before, and would continue doing, until he was old and battered and his arms had been chopped of, and when that would be the case, he'd probably use his teeth and… well, whatever.

"Erm… Padfoot, are you doing what I think you're doing?" Remus didn't mind.

(Though the thought of Sirius without arms was a _tad_ scary.) Really, he _didn't_ mind. But not now. They couldn't _now_. There were things they had to sort out! Things to talk about.

"If you're thinking that I'm unbuckling your belt, then yes." With on quick move, Sirius pulled Remus' belt out of his pants.

"Hmm, not that I mind, but why?" Remus looked lovingly at Sirius, while he concentrated on unzipping Remus' jeans.

Don't judge him! What was he supposed to do? Tell Sirius not to? That wouldn't solve a thing? And maybe… maybe Remus was wrong. Maybe Sirius was back to being _Sirius-ish_? Maybe…

"'Cause I like you in just your boxers. You'd always be in just your underwear, if I had it my way." As Sirius removed Remus' trouser, he looked triumphantly at Remus' almost naked body, and smiled happily.

Then, he simply lit an other cigarette.

"Sirius, don't." Remus whispered.

He hadn't been wrong. Sirius ignored him, and inhaled. He exhaled right above Remus' bellybutton. Remus' stomach contracted, and he was afraid his body might burn. Then Sirius bended over, and his tongue flicked out, to lick Remus' wounds. He held his cigarette above his head. Then he turned Remus around, and started kissing his shoulder blade. His hands went under Remus' waistband, and Remus freaked.

"_Don't_." Remus whispered.

He tried to remove Sirius' hands, but failed. It was wrong, but he enjoyed it at the same time. Sirius came close against Remus' body, pressing against him. When he started pulling Remus' boxers down, Remus pushed him away, and turned around.

"What? I thought you _loved_ me?" Sirius asked.

"We're not doing this when you're not yourself." Remus whispered.

This Sirius frightened him. He could just have his way with Remus. No way Remus could protect himself from someone as strong as Sirius. And there was definitely something wrong with him. He pulled Sirius closer and kissed him. Hoping he'd bring normal Sirius back. Sirius pulled away and inhaled again. He kissed Remus' belly again. Burning him, again.

"_Don't_." Remus pleaded.

Sirius ignored him, and put the cigarette to his lips. This time the smoke burned Remus' earlobe. When Sirius licked it, Remus didn't know what was coming over him. He loved Sirius. But it felt wrong. He didn't like the cigarette. And how forcing it all seemed to be. If he had never seen Sirius drunk before, he would've blamed the behaviour on lots of butterbeer. But one: Sirius could hold up butterbeer. And two: if he _ever_, and this was only rarely, got drunk, he was even more chipper then usually. Not aggressive or mean. Then, Sirius whispered something in his ear.

"Be honest with me Remus. Did you fuck Macie?"

Remus' eyes widened, and he pushed Sirius away immediately.

"Excuse me?" He said, not being able to believe what he had just said.

Sirius inhaled. Exhaled.

"Yes. Did you, or did you not fuck Macie?" He sat there, on the end of the bed, looking at Remus.

"No! Of course not. What the hell is wrong with you? Thinking I'd do such a thing?" Remus looked at Sirius.

He inhaled one last time, then he put out the cigarette in the ashtray.

"You're so bloody _hot_." Was all he said, while blue smoke emerged from his mouth.

"Sirius. Tell me." Remus whispered.

Sirius sighed, he lay next to Remus again.

"It's just… 'bout what Peter said." Sirius sulked.

He changed, just like that. Faster then the eye could flick. From rough, hard, smoking man to soft, sweet puppy-dog child.

"You shouldn't listen to Peter Sirius. And why would I sleep with her? I don't even _like_ her." Remus gave him a kiss.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, still sulking.

"Very."

"Good." Then Sirius crawled back on top of Remus.

He looked at Remus' body.

"You're _beautiful_. You really are." He let a finger travel along his chest.

"But this isn't fair." Remus mumbled and pulled down Sirius' pyjama bottoms.

Sirius licked Remus' chest, and his hand went under the waistband of Remus' boxers again. Remus breathing stopped for a second, and when Sirius' hand found what he was looking for, Remus started panting. He kissed Sirius again, happy he had old, loving Sirius back. Remus toppled over, landed on top, and looked into Sirius' eyes.

"What? Want me to stop?" Sirius murmured in a hoarse voice, he had liked how things had been going seconds ago.

Remus shook his head.

"Oh, good." Sirius' hand went back to its earlier occupation.

He started grinning when Remus bit his bottom lip. Then he removed Remus' boxers completely and seemed to think. Remus nibbled Sirius' neck, and whispered: "you know… I love you."

"Oh but Moony, I love you too, _of course_ I do." Sirius kissed Remus.

Remus swallowed hard, and they turned again. He took off Sirius' boxers and then there were wet kisses. And soft touches. And panting. And moaning. And there was love. More _pure_, then it had been ever before.


	5. Chapter five: Daylight finds out

**Daylight ****finds out about the being more than Friends**

When Remus woke up, Sirius was still in bed. It was odd. The curtains were opened, though Remus was sure they had been closed when he fell asleep. The others were still asleep in their four-posters. And, as said, Sirius was still there, which was also weird. He was sitting up straight thinking about stuff. He replayed what had happened the night before inside his head. He was a bit disappointed when he noticed how there were little _blurry_ parts. He felt as if he was failing Remus. Having sex with the man he loved for the very first time was something he ought to remember correctly. He wanted to remember every little touch, like people in sleazy novels do. But he didn't. Why not? It had been amazing, and nothing had ever made him so _happy_. Loving Remus was so _great_ and _wonderful_. Had making love been trivial? He promised he would work hard on remembering more in the future, and looked at Remus.

"Good morning." He said, and stretched.

"Hi. You're still here."

Sirius nodded.

"I'm sick of all the secrecy Remus. I wanna be with you. I don't care who knows." That was something else he'd been thinking about.

Remus smiled, giving Sirius a soft kiss.

"How 'bout you be with me tonight?" He asked.

'Tonight?' Sirius thought.

Tonight. What happened tonight? Oh. Yule bal. Over a hundred girls had asked him. Of every single house and class. Sirius had said 'no' to each and every one of them. Remus had been right, Sirius didn't handle this right. He slept with every girl he could, hoping he'd forget that the only one he really wanted in his life was beautiful, talented with his tongue and other parts, Remus. He had never met anyone that made him feel like Remus did. He couldn't help to think, that Remus was fully aware that Sirius would always only want him, and sometimes that made him feel _unwanted_, as if he was forcing Remus to be with him. But then he just looked into those marvellous amber eyes, and knew that he felt the same way. He had just figured he'd go to the ball alone, and hope Remus wouldn't bring anyone either. And then they could sneak out together and do things you weren't allowed to do at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.

So, the Yule bal. Remus was asking him for the Yule bal! God!

"Yes. I'd love to go to the Yule bal with you." Sirius kissed Remus, who sighed contently.

"So, I guess I'll go to my own bed then," Sirius said. "Bye Moony." He kissed Remus' cheek, and left the bed, returning to his own.

The day went by in a sort of daze. Lessons seemed to be shorter, breaks only took a couple of seconds, and the marauders dressing for the bal, took hours. Well, it only took half an hour to be exact, but it seemed like hours. Remus and Sirius acted the same as always, just plain, ordinary friends, nothing more. Remus had to go through a whole day of stopping every ten seconds to let some nervous girl ask Sirius out, only for him to give her a pat on the shoulder (which nearly made her faint) and explain he didn't want to. It was a shame really, and Remus hated to see how Sirius didn't at all mind giving the girl hope before he brought them down. He'd _wink_, which made them think something like: 'O my God! He winked at ME! I like so totally have a chance!' Then he'd smile his adorable smile, his hand would seductively glide through his hair, and that was it. They were trapped, he had made them think things they weren't supposed to think, and before you knew it, those who hadn't tried yet, were there to ask him.

'No.'

Remus thought it before Sirius could even answer.

"No." Sirius said, for about the eleven thousandth time.

Okay, that's called exaggerating.

For about the fiftieth time. Maybe the sixtieth time. It didn't matter really, it just drove Remus mad! But he was nice, he didn't say anything. Sirius noticed though, he always noticed. But if Remus didn't want to talk, Sirius didn't make him.

They didn't see Peter, and in the end, Remus was the only one left in the dormitory. James had left early because he wanted to make sure he was the first that asked Lily to dance, so he could keep her busy the whole night. That was his big plan: trick her into one dance, and then: do not let go of her! Isn't he brilliant? God. Don't we just _love_ that James Potter?

Remus sighed and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His dress robes were black, with golden stripes here and there. Very simple, very _Remus_-ish. He turned around when he heard someone come up the stairs. When he looked at the door, he gasped. Sirius stood in the doorway, his robes were deep red, and he looked absolutely breathtaking.

"God, you look stunning!" Remus said.

Sirius smiled and came to Remus. He kissed Remus' nose and put his arms around Remus' hips.

"Only for you Love. You look beautiful too by the way."

Remus kissed Sirius.

"Now that's a lie, but I'll let it slide, just this once."

Sirius looked at Remus suspiciously.

"It was not. You're _beautiful_. You're just gonna have to accept that."

"Or what."

Sirius grinned.

"Or I'll never kiss you again." He said daring, never even thinking about not kissing Remus, he wouldn't survive without Remus' kisses.

"Well, fine, I'm beautiful," Remus sighed. "Now do I get a kiss?"

Sirius smiled.

"Sure thing Love."

Sirius bended over to the younger man, and kissed his soft lips.

"So, can we do this?" Sirius asked.

"I'm feeling kind of sick, but sure, we can do this."

Sirius grinned.

"Come on, I'll protect you." Sirius winked, and dragged Remus to the door.

They went down the stairs. Remus got more nervous with every step they took, but Sirius' hand, which was resting on his shoulder, made him feel a bit more comfortable. The common room was still pretty full. There were a couple of a dozen girls from Gryffindor that had asked Sirius to the Yule ball, and they were all gathered in the common room, looking their best, trying to figure out _who_ had replaced them. Most girls looked kind of confused, and they all started whispering, as Sirius bravely walked to the portrait hole, dragging Remus behind him. Then, all of a sudden, he halted.

"My lace." He said, and ducked.

Remus looked around. Everyone was staring at them. He felt really uncomfortable, and was sure Sirius was doing it on purpose. Taking all the time of the world.

"Sirius, hurry." He hissed, but Sirius ignored that.

When Sirius came back up, ready to take Remus' hand and drag him to the portrait hole again, a soft voice behind them said: "hi."

They turned around.

'Oh,' Remus thought. 'It's one of _those_.'

One of those that's really beautiful. Remus totally didn't like her. With her waist-length black hair. And her brown eyes. And the way they looked at Sirius. And then how they looked at Remus as if he was _dirt_. And then went back to stare _lovingly_ at Sirius. It made Remus sick. How Sirius could so adorably smile back at her, was just beyond Remus. So Remus just went all jealous boyfriend-ish, and tapped his foot a bit while Sirius replied with a simple: "hi." And a smile.

Luckily he _did_ put his hand on Remus' shoulder again. Otherwise Remus would've started tapping his foot more _fiercely_. Oh, beware of the fiercely tapping Remus, he means trouble.

"So, ehm," the girl tried a week, nervous smile. Which was faked _of course_. "Me and some other girls," she pointed at the other girls to image her point. "Were wondering _who_ you were taking to the Yule ball." She finished with a smile.

The nerve. Remus was right there! Next to Sirius! How thick could you get? Very thick! Even though she was slim as hell.

"Well, isn't it obvious," Sirius also smiled. "I'm taking my dearest Remus here."

Remus looked away angrily. Puh. _Dearest_ Remus. He could've done better.

"Oh. Like… as friends?" The girl asked.

Remus turned back. Sirius looked a bit nervous. He didn't seem to know what to say. He wasn't leaving Remus, was he? Now, we'll have to stop that. And Remus was getting sick of the girl. She annoyed him. Let's show her who's boss. So, Remus sighed deeply, pretending to be bored, took Sirius' head, and kissed him passionately on his lips. He could feel Sirius' grin through the kiss.

"Does _that_ answer your questions?" Remus looked back at the girl. He was pleased to see that her eyes had gotten big, and her mouth hung wide open. "Now can we leave, I'm bored." Remus smiled all innocent-like at Sirius.

"Sure Love." Sirius said.

He lay an arm around Remus' waist, and without an other word they continued their way to the portrait hole. When they reached it, Remus whispered: "you know, I kind of like this." In Sirius' ear.

"Hmm, me too." Sirius kissed Remus again.

Then, they left. The hallways were almost deserted. People were already in the great hall, or still in their dorms. When they entered the great hall, a lot of people stared at them. It were mostly girls, looking confused. Sirius' hand on Remus' hip might not be _that_ big a deal, but it was something to think about. They sat down with Lilly and James, who were having a descent conversation. It seemed to go well for them. While they ate, Remus smiled at Lilly. She didn't have the decency to ask them where their dates were, and he was thankful for it. By the time they finished eating, everyone had arrived. The girl with the black hair was sitting with her friends, whispering silently, and pointing at their table. Remus got a bit nervous by it, but tried to ignore them. And then the music started and Lilly and James were gone, and Remus stared at Sirius nervously. Sirius grinned at him.

"Let's dance Love." He said, standing up and taking Remus' hand.

"I don't know…" Remus hesitated. "I don't really like dancing."

Sirius shook his head. He pulled Remus to his feet, lead him to the dance floor, and whispered: "well, that's only because you've never danced with me," Remus smiled. "Just relax. And don't forget: I'm the man here."

Remus wanted to protest, but he didn't. Sirius would win anyways, and he didn't really mind not being the man. It meant Sirius' hands were on his hips at all times, and that he could rest his head on Sirius' shoulder and doze off into perfect blissfulness. It wasn't until a certain black-haired Slitherin seeker approached that they stopped dancing.

"What are you doing?" Regulus asked.

He quirked an eyebrow, just standing there. Hands in his sides. Remus lifted his head.

"Dancing Reg! You should try it once. It's really nice." Sirius patted Regulus on the shoulder, and wanted to continue.

"With a _guy_?" Regulus asked in disbelief.

Sirius sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Not really. I mean, Remus is _obviously_ a woman, isn't he?"

Remus didn't know how to react. Regulus seemed as if he was about to believe Sirius. Then he realised he was making fun.

"Think of what mum'll say when she finds out!" Regulus hissed. "She wont care if it was for a bet or something…" Sirius interrupted.

"It's not for a bet."

"… she'll be furious and pissed off the whole vacation! Christmas'll be like hell Sirius!" Regulus ended.

He looked almost pleading.

"I don't care." Sirius said.

"She'll hate you for it!" Regulus warned.

"She _already_ hates me Reg. I _don't_ care."

"Please Sirius! Don't get yourself into trouble! Why must you always insist on pissing her off?"

"God! I just happen to be dancing! If that pisses her off, it's her sodding problem Reg! Not mine!"

"I don't want her to be mad at you again! She'll make your life miserable Sirri! She wont let this slide!"

"Don't worry about me Reg. I'll be fine. And I promise I wont let her ruin your Christmas too. Now go ask that bird," he pointed at a rather _pretty_ Slitherin girl. "She's dying to dance with you. And you'll have fun."

Regulus seemed to be doubting, but Sirius gave him a little push. So he left and asked the girl. Sirius smiled at Remus, and they continued dancing.

"Will she be very mad Sirri?" Remus asked silently.

"Yes. But don't worry about that." Sirius kissed Remus' cheek.

Remus sighed a bit dreamily, and put his head on Sirius' shoulder. The latter took him closer and they slow-danced again.

After an hour more, the desserts came up. Sirius completely freaked and pulled Remus back to the table. Before they got there though, they were interrupted by a black-haired girl and her companions. She pretended to be tripping, and spilled her glass over Remus' dress robes. Remus could feel the honey-thick liquid through his dress robes, stinging on his undershirt and chest. He turned around without saying anything, but he could hear the girl shriek: "_oeps_!" As loudly as possible.

Remus rolled his eyes without anyone noticing, and ran to a bathroom to clean his dress robes.

Remus' dress robes and his white shirt were hanging in thin air. He had cleaned them using magic, and let them dry while he washed his chest. A part of him wondered what would happen if _someone_ would come in. He was now standing in only his boxers, so it would be sort of odd. But whatever. He looked up when the door opened quietly. Sirius stood there, looking a bit puzzled. Remus said nothing, and magiced up a towel.

"It was an accident Moony," Sirius whispered. It was as if he _knew_ he was lying. "She apologised to me, because you already left."

"Yah," said Remus, not looking at him. "Was afraid I might do something stupid. It's almost full moon. Who knows what'd happen if I'd lose my temper when there're other students around." He ended with a sneer.

"She's not that kind of person Remus." Sirius said.

Remus couldn't believe him. Was he actually _protecting_ her? The bastard.

"No, she's the kind of person that wants to get into your paints, so why don't you go over there and give her what she wants, like you _usually_ do." Remus knew he was a bit cruel.

He couldn't help it. It was almost full moon. He always changed around that time. Got sensitive and cranky.

"Remus I don't wanna be with her!" Sirius said, coming closer. "I wanna be with you!"

"Then stop defending her!" Remus yelled.

"It was just an accident, no need to hate her for it." Sirius said quietly.

He turned his head away in shame. Shame for his own behaviour, or Remus'? He himself couldn't even tell.

"You just don't get it," whispered Remus, looking at him. "I don't hate _her_. I hate the way she smiles at you, and the way you smile back. Or the way she just always wants your attention, and the way you don't mind giving it. And how…"

"Remus, shush," Sirius interrupted him. Remus looked at him sadly. The older boy lay an hand on his cheek, and looked him in the eye. "Don't say things like that. I know I can be a bastard. But I _love_ you. I don't even really _like_ her. I just don't want you to be pissed, because that would ruin the whole evening."

Remus looked away from Sirius. He let him take his shirt and put in on. And they the dress robes followed. And voila, Remus was dressed.

"Come on Sweetheart. Desserts!"


	6. Extra: The End

**Extra: The End**

Sirius took a second chocolate pudding, and Remus tried to ignore the girls and their angry glares. Being with the hottest guy in school wasn't _all_ just pro's you know! James and Lilly were talking again, and by the end of dessert-time, James was feeding her little bites of pie. Sirius grinned. He gave Remus some wet kisses under his ear, and said, louder then necessary: "well, I have to pee." Gave Remus a seductive wink, and left.

James laughed when he saw Remus' puzzled look.

"You're supposed to follow him, dummy." He rolled his eyes.

Remus let out a surprised 'o' and then got up. He looked from James, to the door, and back again. James said nothing and Lilly just smiled. So Remus left too.

Before he reached the nearest bathroom though, someone pulled him into a broom closet. At first he was afraid it might be the black-haired bitch. Then he remembered she was still inside. And he doubted if _she_ would cover him with dreamy kisses.

"What took you so long?" Whispered Sirius' deep voice.

It was pitch-black in the broom closet. And a bit cold. And small. And Remus could feel _mops_ if he moved his hand.

"The thought of you on the loo kind of bedazzled me." Remus joked.

"Ieuw Moony," Sirius gave him a little kiss on his neck. "No one looks hot sitting on the loo… like… only you."

Remus laughed aloud. And then there was nothing but darkness and kissing sounds. They indulged in huge snogging-activities. And James and Lilly grew fonder of each other with every passing minute. And they had a perfect out-coming. And the next day they'd make up with Peter. And later, _much_ later Remus would find himself on the floor, sobbing for something that was so _real_ it just couldn't be a dream. And after that he would find out that even real things could be a lie. And even later he would live that perfect lie. With Sirius' sort of niece. And he would never know why he had done it. Maybe it had been the shock of Sirius leaving him for good. And later, when his time was up, they'd be reunited and happy. But one thing was sure. He'd love Sirius forever. Every single piece of him, every role he ever played in their relationship. From the soft, sweet puppy-dog child until the rough, hard, smoking man.

And Sirius, through all those years, never fell out off love with Remus. He remained _in_. For always and ever. And things didn't change. Through there whole relationship, one thing remained. When they were back at Grimmauld place, and later, when there was nothing but clouds and Hallmark visions of heaven, they still made love in the dark.


End file.
